I'm in Narnia.

I don't know where I am or where I'm going. I haven't got a clue with what I want to do with myself. I'm entering my junior year of high school and I don't know who I am at all. I have been told so many different things throughout the years that I just don't know who or what to believe. But I do know that I feel like what I'm doing right now in my life isn't making me happy. I feel like I need to be doing something greater. I want to do something greater, bigger than just sitting my room watching YouTube videos. Its not fulfilling me. One day I think I want to be a journalist the next I want to be a personal trainer. I want to do something great though. I can do something great. Everyone can. This whole high school searching for myself thing is one of the toughest things. I don't understand how we can be expected to decide what we are going to pursue at only 17 or 18. Its absolutely nuts to me. I know I like music, fashion, doing makeup, boys, singing, movies, and fitness a lot. But what can I make of all or any of those. I keep telling people that I'm thinking of studying journalism in college, but that's only because I like to write and other people think I'm good at it. I don't even know exactly what journalism calls for. I don't know what life or being a good person calls for. I don't know what I call for. I'm holding myself back.
God being on my period just makes me want to cry all the time and get sad about everything.  I know I'm not the only one in this situation, but I really wanted to vent. This is a little bit diary style. Which I do pretty regularly. I may or may not do these. Again wasn't planned.
Have a good night